Confidence in Britain (thanks Dave)

LibDig This!

Hurray!

David Cameron and George Osborne have hit the airwaves to exhort Britons to think positive.

The press release is a work of genius. Analysts are now expecting markets to rally forthwith as we all just forget about this silly recession.

Here are the best bits of the press release:

George Osborne stressed the need to restore confidence after figures showed that GDP fell by 1.5% in the last quarter.

"Britons absolutely need to cheer up if they are going to start blindly spending the money that they don't have again."

"The Conservatives absolutely want to help build consumer and market confidence. That's why we are emphasising the fact the Government is leading Britain into the abyss of eternal doom."

"Gordon you ruined everything, life is over, there is no tomorrow. Oh God... oh God... sometimes I just wish I could end it all with one of my big guns."

"The only thing that keeps me going is killing defenceless animals. That's why we're re-announcing our support for turning a blind eye to hunting with dogs"

"Only under the leadership of David Cameron, will people again be able to pay their gas bills while avoiding eating their own dogs."

ENDS